it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
