she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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