He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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