no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
