He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
