i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
