This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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