Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
