I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
