just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
