They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
