Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
