Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
