Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
