I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
