Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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