I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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