Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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