why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
