I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize