i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
