Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
