now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
