Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
