Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
