He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
