my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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