if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You need Xanax blowdarts
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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