dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
