Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
