i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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