He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Your penis caused this!
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