dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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