Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I love having hate sex.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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