I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
