yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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