So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
