Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
