I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
