It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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