You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
