handjob tips. give me some.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
