your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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