He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
