Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
