If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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