you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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