I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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