I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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