He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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