Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
